My Story: Torn From the Inside Out by Sara Niles

Thunder rattled the window- panes two stories high and lightning split the sky; it was as if the whole world was in turmoil that night.


Memoirs about everything from minor subjects as trivial as how to tie your shoes to major works detailing trauma and tragedy that expands far outside the normal range of human experiences, such as Surviving Auschwitz scatter the marketplace. A memoir is an account written from personal knowledge that professes historical accuracy, and personal honesty when the narrative is based on a true story of some significance. A meaningful memoir should leave a message behind, much like the duly acclaimed memoir I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou. In Caged Bird, the personal struggle of young Maya to reclaim her self-esteem and identity after being raped, emerged into a powerful and poetic story of resilience. The inspirational message is you can survive and become stronger after earthshaking trauma; in Maya Angelou’s case, she became her own earthshaking force as world renown poet, writer, philosopher and mentor to Oprah Winfrey.

My own story is reminiscent of my past through the lens of the wisdom acquired through life, and told with the passion acquired by suffering tragedy and trauma. My story is raw and personal.

My Story is a Memoir that recounts a childhood that was far from normal in which octogenarians relatives saved me just long enough for me to recover from the damage of early childhood neglect and abuse, before my life catapulted me into the heart of a violent and abusive marriage to a mentally ill Vietnam Veteran when I was only sixteen years old. My Story is a Memoir, Torn From the Inside Out and its message is clear: Domestic Violence bends, breaks, and kills. Too many victims never escape except through death, far too many who escape the actual abuse as damaged children, grow up to become broken adults who perpetuate the damage done to them: Broken People, Break People, and Hurt People, Hurt People. The cycle of abuse has be stopped; although domestic violence survivors champion resiliency and strength, the children bear the scars.

My Story is designed to raised understanding and awareness of domestic violence and its effect upon human lives, not just the lives of women, but all lives, the lives of men, women, and children.

Torn From the Inside Out


This book is for me and my children, as well as the millions of veterans of domestic war: those who live in homes predominated by domestic violence. Some survive the violence, stronger in some ways, and broken in others, and some do not survive at all.

In memory of the dead victims of domestic violence, I have retold stories of those who became casualties. The stories below are all true; I retold them from the perspective of my own visualizations in an effort to give some validation to lives wasted, and mostly forgotten. Some things are too precious to forget, such as the lessons of history, and the deeds of unsung heroes, for if we stumble into the habit of forgetting, we lose both the value of life and the opportunity to become a wiser and stronger generation. If we forget, we lessen our children’s heritage and cheat them of the legacy of their pasts, therefore we can never forget.

I lived a life that was far from ordinary, and even far from normal. I was given away when I was barely over three years old to two aged, octogenarian relatives who had been childless until their early eighties, when they received me, much like a human gift. I was cherished and protected by them, that is, as long as they could offer such protection I lived in ‘The Garden of Eden’.

Time passed and I found myself far removed from such valued protection when I was on the brink of losing my life to a violent abuser, one I had married and pledged to spend a lifetime with. My life would take me far from my life’s oasis, my childhood Garden of Eden.

I am the hungry little girl who sat in the sand over fifty years years ago, waiting to be rescued by an ancient old man. I am Sara Niles, and this is my story:

Chapter 1

The Garden of Eden

Thunder rattled the window- panes two stories high and lightning split the sky; it was as if the whole world was in turmoil that night. My nerves were keyed up as tight as piano strings, and in a sudden moment of stillness and silence it felt as though my heartbeat was amplified ten times over. He was over a hundred pounds greater than I, nearly a foot taller, and I knew he could move his muscled body into unbelievable sprints. Rain started falling in torrents while the storm raged outside. I was not afraid of the storms of nature; it was the storm inside this night that I knew I might not survive.

Anticipation was so great that I wanted to scream at him to get it over with, and true to my expectation he lunged for me, and my body did not disappoint me, I flew down the stairs two at a time in my bare feet. He stalled for mere seconds to enjoy his pronouncement of a death sentence upon me:

The date was February 13, of the year 1987, the night that I disappeared into a February rainstorm with five children and no place to go. I was twenty-nine years old.

Injustice Rages

About 22,000 Rohingya Muslims have crossed the border into Bangladesh after fleeing unrest in Burma in the past seven days, bringing the total number of new arrivals to more than 65,000 since the Burmese army launched operations against the heavily persecuted minority in early October. The U.N. Office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs said…

via Around 22,000 Rohingya Have Fled Military Violence in Burma in the Past Week — TIME

What is Wrong with Trump?

What is wrong with Donald Trump? The same thing that was wrong with Hitler: Trump and Hitler were both stunted in childhood, both remained Egocentric throughout their lives, both think the world revolves around them. A person can be an egomaniac, and egocentric, without extreme power and control issues, but in the case of Trump, this is not so. Trump has to be ‘right’, always….always…. It does not matter what the subject is, or how important or unimportant, just like a nine year old boy (which is where he is stuck, that is why he says ‘very, very’ and ‘bigly’, the language of a child), Trump misses the more important world issues, because he is, and will always be-stuck on himself. No man or woman with that mindset can properly represent the issues of over three hundred million people, most of whom are in desperate need of help…not a wall…. You can’t eat a wall or live in it, not a relationship with his idol Putin (His projected ‘father ‘figure, more powerful than he, and a power monger like Trump’s own father). Trump is forever a nine-year-old bully child, seeking more and more power and attention in order to show the world, he is a winner, the best, the most powerful.  Trump seeks the admiration of similar world models, egocentric and egomaniacal power mongers, such as the notorious Kim Jong-un, and Putin. Trump distracts the focus away from his negative ideals by flattering compliments, such as ‘they are great people’, and after saying ‘lock her up’ he says ‘she is a great person’…this is a trait of con artist and manipulators, a disingenuous feign of niceness when its suits him, and switching mode to suit the audience.

I have never feared the installment of a new president in my life, but I do now.

FLOTUS To Appear On ‘Tonight Show’ Jan. 11 — Black America Web

NEW YORK (AP) — Michelle Obama is making her final visit as the nation’s first lady to “The Tonight Show” on January 11. It will be her third “Tonight Show” appearance. Her previous visits were in February 2014 and in April 2015, when she displayed her dancing skills with host Jimmy Fallon in a presentation…

via FLOTUS To Appear On ‘Tonight Show’ Jan. 11 — Black America Web

‘Monster’ great white shark caught, tagged off Hilton Head Island — WTKR.com

Chip Michalove has been obsessed with sharks since he was 5 years old. CHIP MICHALOVE, OUTCAST SPORT FISHING So, it’s no surprise he grew up to become a charter fisherman. For the past 17 years, Michalove, the owner and captain of Outcast Sport Fishing on Hilton Head Island, South Carolina, has helped tag hundreds of…

via ‘Monster’ great white shark caught, tagged off Hilton Head Island — WTKR.com

MIT: ‘more extreme storms’ for California due to warming – but history mocks the claim — Watts Up With That?

From the “models can make you believe anything” department comes this breathless doom-laden press release from the same school that brought you the big wheel of silly climate model results. Study finds more extreme storms ahead for California New technique predicts frequency of heavy precipitation with global warming On December 11, 2014, a freight train […]

via MIT: ‘more extreme storms’ for California due to warming – but history mocks the claim — Watts Up With That?